It Had to Happen This Way

According to the Catholic Church, a person can gain a plenary indulgence by devoting at least half an hour to reading the Scriptures with a spirit of prayer and reverence. With this in mind, I took to reading 30 minutes per day because I need all the help I can get. Reading the Gospel of John, I got to the point where Jesus wept.

Jesus wept. John 11:35

I had recently learned, from one of my prayer apps, the practice of lectio divina. Meditate on a particular passage from scripture. I was “putting myself in the narrative” as I was taught to do. I was putting myself in Martha’s shoes, and could see myself in her as she said, “Jesus if you had been here my brother wouldn’t have died.” And Jesus wept.

Why did Jesus weep?

"Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21

He wept for Martha and Mary because he felt their pain at the loss of their brother. He wept for Lazarus because he felt the fear Lazarus felt when he was facing death. Jesus knew what it felt like to hurt, and he hurt for them as well as with them. Jesus’ pain was compounded by the fact he knew he could have prevented it from happening. But just because he could didn’t mean he could. And I imagine that was what hurt him most of all. As I was contemplating all this, I was so moved I started to cry myself.

I felt the Lord speak to me in my heart “It had to happen this way.” When we weep, he weeps with us. And sometimes even though he can change things, he doesn’t because, as in the case of Lazarus, allowing the temporary pain eventually led to God’s glory being revealed.

My Aunt Marie was younger than I am now when she died

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord." Isaiah 56:8

There are times in my life when something happened and I don’t understand it. Times when I look back on people I miss. People who died young, or sooner than I felt like they should. People I had to say goodbye to that I met along the way. All the things I would change if I could. It has to be well with my soul whether it’s well with my soul or not, because there’s nothing I can do about it anyway.

But when I am tempted to fall into despair I remind myself of those words the Lord spoke into my heart that night, "It had to happen this way." Whether it was God's perfect will or his permissive will, I have learned to put my trust in Him to see me through, and to leave the God-ing to God.